Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Thanksgiving

Just when I feel like I really need to post...and that nobody will notice if I don't...there comes an encouraging comment or someone mentions they checked the blog and haven't seen a post in a awhile. Thank you to those who check in on us and the blog. It means so much. Here is an update...

Thanksgiving was wonderful and difficult at the same time. We have so much to be thankful for. This has been the hardest year of our lives but it has also included more comfort, peace and growth than any other year. Those are gifts that we will take with us, they are part of us forever, because of Chloe Faith. She has left a huge imprint on our lives. A tiny little baby made an enormous impact. She makes me so proud. Her legacy continues to touch peoples lives.

Last Christmas, my 7 year old niece, G, received a cute baby doll. The doll talks, drinks a bottle, opens and closes her eyes and is wrapped in pink. She is adorable (the baby doll and my niece). Last Christmas I joked with G that the baby was a wonderful gift because she could practice caring for a baby. Since next Christmas we would have a new little cousin for her to play with and that I could use her help with the new baby. She was overjoyed at the idea.

When I saw my niece at our family Thanksgiving get together, guess what she was holding...that sweet little baby doll. I smiled at her a little surprised since I hadn't seen the baby in 11 months. The the thought hit me, "You should be holding my baby..." I held it together (I think). Kids are so perceptive, I'm not sure if she noticed my double take and mind racing. She is a cute little baby doll - I just wish G could be holding our baby girl. I wish I could be holding our baby girl.

I imagine Christmas will be even more confusing. We found out we were pregnant at Christmas and began sharing the news. I felt so tired during the first few weeks of December that I didn't even have the energy to decorate last year.

I have more energy to decorate this year, but part of me thinks, "I should be too tired and busy to decorate from caring for a 2 month old baby." But that isn't the situation. This isn't how I imagined our 2008 holidays to be - but we still have much to be thankful for. And we have hope for 2009. We have lots of hope that 2009 will include many blessings.

Our plan is to start trying to get pregnant in January. We'd appreciate your prayers for a speedy conception and healthy pregnancy. We know there will be lots of ups and downs emotionally, but we are anxious to have a baby in our arms to love and care for.

Posting has been good for my heavy heart. I feel lighter. We have several Christmas ornaments in memory of Chloe - I think it may be time to decorate.

Blessings to all who take the time to read our blog. We are thankful for you!

12 comments:

Trish said...

You have lossed so much this year, on the other hand you have gained more love and wisdom than some do in a lifetime. God hold you and bless you through the holidays and beyond. I will be praying for 2009 to bring you an abundance of blessings.
with love,
Trish

Rachel said...

Glad to see you're doing okay. I was wondering since you haven't posted in awhile. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you and Jose this Christmas and as you journey into pregnancy after losing Chloe. May God richly bless you!

Emily said...

Oh friend, I am so glad to hear from you! I do check in often and wonder how you are. I am praying for your heart during this season and will be asking God for a super sweet gift for the new year. Love you!

Corie said...

Good to hear how you are doing. I definitly will be praying 2009 to bring many blessings.

boltefamily said...

Praying for you as you continue trying to grow your family. I am so sorry for the hurt Kirsten. I wish I could take it away, and yet I can't. There are no words that make any of this less confusing or painful. I just want you to know you are loved and covered in prayer! Holidays are so hard.

Love you!

Kristy

Karin said...

Kirsten and Jose,

I am so sorry about everything you have gone through with the loss of your sweet Chloe. As I read your last post my eyes filled with tears as I too thought how I should be holding my baby boy this Christmas. We will be keeping you in our prayers during this Christmas season and as you begin trying again!

Stacy D said...

Kirsten,

Praying for you this holiday season. Like you missing your Chloe, we are definitely missing our sweet Isaac... wishing he was here to join in the festivities.

Hope you are well, and that God holds you close this Christmas...

~ Stacy

So Blessed said...

Praying for you as you go through the Christmas season while grieving your loss of your baby girl. I will be petitioning God on your behalf that in His perfect timing the new gift of life will be yours.

Kim (marygracesummons.blogspot.com) said...

Dear Kirsten,
The Holidays are so bitter sweet. All the thoughts that you are having are hard but keep sweet Chloe Faith alive! She will always be with you and I love knowing that. I will be praying for God to grow your family in January. I can't wait to see it all unfold. You are such a blessing and I know God has good things in store for you!
Love you,
Kim

Karin said...

Kirsten,

Thank you for leaving such a sweet comment on our blog. While I wish none of us had to go through this, I feel so blessed to be meeting so many amazing moms to share this journey with. I love thinking about Luke, Chloe, and so many other sweet babies celebrating Christmas in Heaven with Jesus-it is so beautiful to imagine! I hadn't even thought about posting the video of Luke. I think that is a great idea, and I would love to share him with everyone. I will definitely post it-of course I'll have to figure out how to do that first! You continue to be in my prayers-specifically that you will be sharing some wonderful news with all of us sometime soon!

Karin

Chrissy said...

Thinking of you...

So Blessed said...

Praying for you...