Just when I feel like I really need to post...and that nobody will notice if I don't...there comes an encouraging comment or someone mentions they checked the blog and haven't seen a post in a awhile. Thank you to those who check in on us and the blog. It means so much. Here is an update...
Thanksgiving was wonderful and difficult at the same time. We have so much to be thankful for. This has been the hardest year of our lives but it has also included more comfort, peace and growth than any other year. Those are gifts that we will take with us, they are part of us forever, because of Chloe Faith. She has left a huge imprint on our lives. A tiny little baby made an enormous impact. She makes me so proud. Her legacy continues to touch peoples lives.
Last Christmas, my 7 year old niece, G, received a cute baby doll. The doll talks, drinks a bottle, opens and closes her eyes and is wrapped in pink. She is adorable (the baby doll and my niece). Last Christmas I joked with G that the baby was a wonderful gift because she could practice caring for a baby. Since next Christmas we would have a new little cousin for her to play with and that I could use her help with the new baby. She was overjoyed at the idea.
When I saw my niece at our family Thanksgiving get together, guess what she was holding...that sweet little baby doll. I smiled at her a little surprised since I hadn't seen the baby in 11 months. The the thought hit me, "You should be holding my baby..." I held it together (I think). Kids are so perceptive, I'm not sure if she noticed my double take and mind racing. She is a cute little baby doll - I just wish G could be holding our baby girl. I wish I could be holding our baby girl.
I imagine Christmas will be even more confusing. We found out we were pregnant at Christmas and began sharing the news. I felt so tired during the first few weeks of December that I didn't even have the energy to decorate last year.
I have more energy to decorate this year, but part of me thinks, "I should be too tired and busy to decorate from caring for a 2 month old baby." But that isn't the situation. This isn't how I imagined our 2008 holidays to be - but we still have much to be thankful for. And we have hope for 2009. We have lots of hope that 2009 will include many blessings.
Our plan is to start trying to get pregnant in January. We'd appreciate your prayers for a speedy conception and healthy pregnancy. We know there will be lots of ups and downs emotionally, but we are anxious to have a baby in our arms to love and care for.
Posting has been good for my heavy heart. I feel lighter. We have several Christmas ornaments in memory of Chloe - I think it may be time to decorate.
Blessings to all who take the time to read our blog. We are thankful for you!
5 months ago